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Why Do We Keep Giving When We’re Empty?
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Mar 27, 2019
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As a blogger for the past few years, many of the posts I’ve written were from a position of authority. I’ve been writing from a stance of personal experience, events I’ve lived through and…just my life.
But with this blog I wanted to do something completely different and pose a question to my readers. You see, this is one blog topic that I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around nor find the answers to. Y’all know I like to keep it all the way real and honestly, over the past few weeks I’ve been in the slumps, just not feeling myself. You know that bummed out, exhausted for no reason, self destructive overthinking feeling? Yes, that! I woke up each day, tried to tackle the day’s to-do list, attended my meetings as scheduled, kept up with my online brand and…I smiled. They were fake smiles, but smiles nonetheless. For some reason I had this desire, actually it felt more like an obligation, to continue giving of myself in ways that I have become accustomed to and ways in which people have come to expect of me; despite how I was really feeling inside.
I felt this need to craft an inspirational blog or newsletter every week, essentially giving my readers something I couldn’t muster up the strength to give myself; motivation and peace of mind. I wanted to share more blogging and branding tips, answer all of the emails and direct messages from people seeking my advice or wanting help with something. I felt compelled and pressured to live up to my commitment to attend all “fifty-‘leven” events and outings I RSVP’d to and honestly, I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I felt empty.
I know I’m not the only one who gets this feeling from time to time. You know, that feeling where nothing moves you anymore, where your thoughts are so heavy they add to the count on the scale; where your mind racing spirals into headaches and sleepless nights. So yeah, I promised this blog would be different and it is, so I’ll shut up now and simply ask the question;
Why Do You Keeping Giving When You’re Empty?
I haven’t figured out why I do, or feel the need to so I really want to know your answers to this question. Let’s chat in the comments below. P.S. This is a safe, judgement-free zone…so feel free to pour your heart out! <3
Because we don’t understand and practice balance. We are passion driven and dedicated to our families our jobs and our purposes. Which is great because there is a level of determination that is required in order to be the person God created us to be and to fulfill that sense of longing that lies within. The issue is that we get so caught up in giving to others that we forget or better yet neglect to take care of ourselves. We go and go until there’s nothing left. We are running on fumes. Some people fill their vehicle gas tanks at the halfway point and others attempt to ride for several days even when the fuel light has come on. The goal for each of us should be to continually build in activities moments and opportunities to replenish our inner selves along the way so we do not run out of gas and end up stranded on the side of the road waiting for someone or something else to fill us back up.
Very interesting topic! For me I think I keep giving even when I need replenishing for varying reasons. Firstly the need to please persons and not disappoint, then the Christian teaching about giving and helping being kind. Then from a relationship prospective societal pressures of what a woman’s “ role” is. Culturally we find it difficult to say NO….. I have been finding my voice to say NO in a loving and intentional way. Just saying I am sorry not today is liberating.
Thanks for allowing me to share 💃🏽
Love your neighbors as yourself not more than yourself
Hi Ianthia. Firstly, this particular post is one of the reasons you are probably so popular – you’re real!
Well, I just want to encourage you. You are human and the reality is sometimes we get burnt out and need to reevaluate, reposition and refuel.
Also, you are an influencer and you probably feel pressured to smile when you’re hurting or attend that major event when you really just want to chill on a Family Island. That, I believe comes with the compulsion to keep going, keeping appearing, keep posting because that is what is expected of you. Well, take a step back…scale down and bounce back in your time. Some people even re-brand, depending on which direction they are being led in.
On the other hand, you are probably wondering whether you can afford to scale back or slow down because you want to keep your fans interested, returning to your pages and hey, getting those gigs and making that money.
My ultimate advice comes from the Bible. Even Jesus himself took time away from the crowds and the disciples themselves and went into a desert place to pray and meditate. Take His lead.
Praying for you girlie!
I keep giving because there is end goal and purpose in mind. I think giving when you are empty is a sign of resilience and passion for something that is above feelings. It is so easy to give when we are full of life and energy but I have learnt that the true beauty is when we push when we know we don’t want to. However, I realized that there were times when I just could not give anymore and that’s when I had to reflect and find out the cause of the emptiness and what was needed. Sometimes it was exhaustion, which needed a pampering day. While other times it was lack of direction and indecisiveness, which a talk with God, spiritual leader, mentor or good friend was needed!
I think in many ways we are trying to give others what we desperately need ourselves. Or maybe it’s finding joy in helping others, being a provider, a problem solver, a motivator… learning first hand though, there is a limit from which we can give before we break and become useless to anyone.
You are so right about knowing our limits! I think intrinsically humans are helpful, loving ppl, but sometimes we just need to regroup and recharge ourselves in order to keep giving. Can’t give anything from an empty cup.
Thanks for reading!
I’ve realized that I’ve been giving, what I want to receive. As I typed that, I thought that maybe I should just put the energy, effort and resources into myself. In my opinion, its just not satisfying that way…
Interesting point. I think we all have a huge giver inside of us, but I’m more concerned when the giving becomes a job or obligation or tied to self worth that we always want to be be there for people when we need to just hunker down and be there for ourselves for a bit.
Thanks so much for reading and weighing in!