Transgender Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce Jenner, has been hailed as a pioneer for her “bravery” in transitioning from male to female last year. But truth be told, the legendary Olympian just joins a list of people who made the decision, choice and had the balls (no pun intended) to live their lives as women, when in fact they were born a man…or vice versa.

In The Bahamas, while the transgender community is alive, well and seemingly growing, the topic is still taboo in this country as it is in many Caribbean countries. But one Bahamian transgender woman braved the criticism, victimization and sadly, even potential violence that members of the LGBTQ community say they face daily, and shared her story.

“Tori” was the special guest on “Free Ya Mind” with host Empress Wednesday to clear the air on the issue and to inform Bahamians that, “We are here to stay.”

“I am not here to change anybody’s mind. I respect everyone’s opinion and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me or understand. If someone really wants to understand they will educate themselves about it so I am not here to change your mind I’m here to educate you and to make you aware. It’s (transgender Bahamians) not going anywhere people, so we are here and we are here to stay. So I’m trying to just sensitize the public.”

Tori says she lives everyday like a woman from style of dress, to the nails, hair and…yes, she has a boyfriend.

“I’m attracted to males. Presently I do have a man in my life and he considers himself straight. For you to understand you have to be able to put yourself in our shoes. For him to consider himself straight he also has to believe that I’m a female. You have to understand that when it’s being documented medically…it’s said that during that birth transition there was a chemical imbalance. I want my body to match the way I feel and how I think. I put on my own makeup and live my life as an ordinary woman. I do go to salons and all of that. I don’t get stares because I am very passable so I blend right in. Yes, I do sit down to pee.”‘

“We are here to stay”

When asked about the mentality that goes behind such a thinking, and questioned about whether or not she’s “emotionally weak” for transitioning, Tori said to be able to face the world, its criticisms and judgments, she’s can’t be considered weak.

“I feel like I am mentally strong, you have to be a strong individual to transition in this Bahamas. You have to be very strong,” she said. “I choose to live my authentic life. I didn’t choose to be this, this is who I am. I choose to be happy. Life is too short and I am happy as a woman.

“My goal isn’t to trick anyone, my goal is to be upfront with whoever I choose to be with. I don’t go anywhere publicising I’m a transgender, and everybody doesn’t need to know what’s between my legs but I am a pre-op.”

This means that Tori is in the process of physically transitioning from male to female, complete with female private parts.

Alexis DeMarco, activist and transgender female phoned into the show to lend Tori some support and clear up a few misconceptions.

“There’s a difference between sexual orientation and someone’s gender. Sexual orientation is a male who likes a male or a female who likes a female or vice versa. Sexual gender is an individual; if their mind’s thinking is that of a female, but biologically they were born with male parts or vice versa. So Tori’s situation is gender identity not sexual orientation. People would say that because she was born male she’s still homosexual, no. Transgender women are heterosexual women in thinking, in process and in their whole make up.”

“I didn’t choose to be this, this is who I am”

Albeit a taboo topic locally, I’m glad we’re having this conversation and glad that someone was brave enough to share their story. We can’t ignore the fact that more and more transgender Bahamians are emerging and making their presence known and not afraid to do so. Whether we like it or not, whether it makes us uncomfortable or not, they say they’re here and they’re here to stay. Alexis is set to give Empress part deux of this interview tomorrow! I will be tuned in!

BTW, I don’t know about you, but I loved Wesley Snipes in To Wong Foo!

(NOTE: Wesley played a drag queen in this movie, it’s different from being transgender. Read more here)

“I want my body to match the way I feel and how I think”

 

Before/after of Bruce Jenner – Vanity Fair, Bruce Jenner’s first post-transition cover shoot. Photo by Annie Liebovitz