Here’s How + Why I Ghosted Everything and Everyone in the Name of Self-Care!
Jan 15, 2020
Still ashamed to take that break for self-care? Read along for some much needed inspiration.
If you’ve been following me on Instagram the latter part of 2019, you would’ve seen that I was on a little hiatus from social media, blogging, writing and just being…people-y.
On top of that, our house got badly damaged during Hurricane Dorian and two days after we had to evacuate, I found out I was pregnant. I was already knee-deep into rehearsals for two local stage plays I’d been cast in, but it honestly felt like the world was caving in around me. I was exhausted, my creative juices had dried up into a thick paste and I just needed a damn break!
With everything that was going on, I went into hibernation; but guilt, an overwhelming sense of non-productivity, laziness and “you aint sh*t,” took over my mental state as I battled myself on whether or not I actually deserved the lengthy break I was taking. It lasted a long four months, y’all!
It started to feel like I was losing my #girlboss mojo. Despite it all, I knew I needed some time away from work and I was determined to take care of myself.
As the weeks went on, I continued working on my new website (which I hope you guys love!), popping into social media every now and again to remind my people that I was still alive and kicking, but still taking some me-time and enjoying it. I posted about my “vacation” a lot too and honestly, secretly, I was beating myself up for being gone for so long. I sometimes felt like I was missing out, I had content ideas I’d put on ice, but I knew I wasn’t in the headspace to execute them, so I didn’t.
I saw people posting and posing, creating and promoting and my blogger/writer/content creator bug was itching to jump back in the saddle; but self-care told me, “girl, you better sit yo a$$ down and rest!”
It wasn’t until I was putting together a short video for my site that I realized…
Putting that video together reminded me of all the work I’d put in over the past five years; from creating bomb content, keeping my blog alive, hosting and producing TV shows, publishing e-books, relaunching my YouTube channel and even creating a series on there, brand collaborations, social media management…girl, I’ve been working! Not to mention I was four months deep into growing a whole human being inside of me.
READ ALSO: …And Baby Makes Three!
Being reminded of all I’d accomplished was exactly what I needed in those moments when I doubted if I should be taking a break. Don’t we all do this?
What made this even better, was when I ran into members of my tribe who cheered me on and encouraged my self-care journey. And even when I expressed to them how guilty I felt for ghosting them, they reminded me that my body of work is so vast and varied that my decision to step away for a while was not only respected, but it was admired.
But when you know within yourself that you’ve already given so much time, energy and tears to your craft, your job, your family; you should feel comfortable and confident taking the breaks you so deserve.
Think about all you’ve accomplished over the past 12, 18, 24 months and how many wins you have under your belt. Don’t you think you deserve a break?
There’s no shame in putting in for that vacation, even if, “it’s only January,” taking a girls’ trip away from the fam, booking that solo spa date, dropping out of the club, the organization or planning committee. There’s absolutely no shame in asking your boss to take a sabbatical or that personal day to stay at home and paint your nails.
Whatever self-care looks like to you, be fearless in requesting it and even more badass in taking it; after all, the work you’ve done so far speaks for itself!
Welcome back. I came across your blog a few months ago and I have to say that I have enjoyed going through your website and I have learnt a lot of lessons over the months. Thank you for creating this website- the new website looks great and wishing you all the best with everything that is in store for you.