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#GirlBoss Confession: I got pregnant, got scared, got a job & then got out!

Life

CATEGORY

Feb 16, 2020

POSTED

When you hear people say, “being an entrepreneur (or #girlboss) aint for everyone,” believe them! For nearly six years now you’ve been with me on this topsy turvy, crazy, enjoyable but oh so fickle adventure of working for my damn self.

And through the pages on this website, I’ve shared the ups and downs, ins and outs of being a freelance writer, content creator and TV host. I’ve experienced some of the most fulfilling…and profitable times of my life while setting my own hours, taking lunch (and nap) breaks when I wanted and working from beaches somewhere in Thailand, Puerto Rico and Brazil.

But even when I lost contracts back-to-back, when weeks and months passed and I couldn’t ink a deal, when bills were overdue or clients were super late with the coins; I never really felt pressured to “go back to work.” With a great support system, I thugged it out through the bad times and celebrated the good times in my business, regardless.

And then I got pregnant.

READ THIS: …And baby makes 3!

It was then that something ticked in my brain and what started out as a simple thought, soon snowballed into an obsession and an overwhelming fear that this entrepreneurship life wasn’t gonna cut it. Almost instantly I started questioning if I was doing enough, being enough, making enough to now care for…a whole other human being.

For the first time in six years I was afraid that being this self proclaimed #girlboss wasn’t going to cut it. Maybe it was that motherly instinct thing kicking in? Throughout my freelance career, I’ve been blessed enough to land enough contracts, partnerships and deals to live my best life while travelling the world.

But there’s something about becoming a mom that for the first time that made me feel inadequate in the career path I chose.

I shared these feelings with my family who assured me I was trippin’, had already made a name for myself and was just panicking.

Still late one night I found myself doing something I hadn’t done in almost 10 years; I was putting together resume packages, applying to suitable positions and looking for a J-O-B.

And I landed one.

For three months I toiled; got up everyday; Monday to Friday and worked for “the man” 9 am to 5 pm. It honestly didn’t take long for me to miss the space I’d created for myself. I missed waking up to my own to-do lists, using my days to create content for my platforms, I missed taking meetings with potential clients and partners and just being my own version of creative; my own version of a boss…a #girlboss!

READ ALSO: How I make money as a freelancer

WATCH: How I (FINALLY) made money on YouTube!

Being an entrepreneur really aint easy and to me, it’s 60 per cent mental and 40 per cent hard work.

It takes that one thing to make you throw in the towel, to give it all up for something else that seems more secure and more comfortable.

But being an entrepreneur is hard for a reason; it’s hard because it isn’t for everyone.

When I finally took the time to re-evaluate where I was in life and what I truly wanted, one day I sat at my desk and whispered to myself…

“Sis, this aint it.”

I came to a mutual agreement with the company which allows us to still have a working relationship that I appreciate and respect and can still make money from.

I feel so much better now that I’m back to working from home, back to working on the content I love and growing my blog and brand. Anyone who’s ever stepped out on faith to start a business or follow a dream can attest to to the fact that life changes, big or small, can easily throw you off your game and have you second guessing why you started this in the first place.

Whether it’s your finances, a relationship, the feeling of security…or becoming a mom, life will always be…”life-y” and you’ll truly understand why they say, “When we make plans, God laughs.”

Still, I know stepping away from the rigors of the corporate grind, readjusting my entrepreneur hat and falling deeper in love with my craft was the best idea. Now I’m anxiously awaiting the arrival of our baby.

I’m loving the fact that I’ve once again freed up my time to work from home and watch my child grow, learn and spit all over me, while simultaneously running my freelancer business.

That, for me, is the ultimate #girlboss move.

#GirlBoss Confession: I got pregnant, got scared, got a job & then got out!

  1. Christina

    February 16th, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    This is exactly what I did when I got pregnant and after I had the baby. It wasn’t until january 2019 when I decided to fully take the leap into entrepreneurship. The thought of having the put a resume package together is so daunting and keeps me motivating to keep pushing in my business. Thanks so much for sharing your story.

  2. Showit User

    February 17th, 2020 at 2:30 am

    Thank you so much for reading! I just had to write this because I know so many people can relate. It was a relief getting it off my chest. I was mad at myself for taking on the job in the middle of my second trimester. So happy I made the decision to get back to working from home.

  3. Michaela

    February 18th, 2020 at 11:42 pm

    I love reading your blogs. I’m also an entrepreneur and left a good paying career with a bright future for my son and my sanity lol. Everything you speak about I feel the same way. You are not alone. I have been on my business venture for the past 9 months. Eventhough I have some really bad days, I appreciate the few good ones I do have. Nothing beats the flexibility to allow me to be the best mom. I too started to put my resume back together in search of a new job for stability but I dismissed it because I would rather push hard for my business than for someone else’s. I also still want to keep my sanity lol. We are rooting for you. #GIRLBOSSES

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